A lot of people try meditation and most give up because they dont ‘get it’.

Like orgasms – you cant explain how it actually feels and no matter how much you try you can not convey the exact experience to another person. A meditation teacher cant see inside your brain and tell you what is going on so you have to trust yourself.

You are getting it if

1. You enjoyed the experience of meditating
2. Each time your mind wanders off you let go and brought your attention back
3. You let go of the stories of the mind
4. You do it on a regular basis
5. You feel long term beneficial effects after having done it for a while

There is no magical moment.

Let us teach you how to let go with the following exercise

1. Suck your stomach in. You are going to hold it in for 5 minutes.
2. Do not hold your breath
3. Concentrate on keeping it your stomach held in
4. When you notice that you have let go simply suck it in again and carry on concentrating. Take care not to feel guilt or any judgement about having drifted off.
5. The more you do this the easier it will become.

Letting go of your stomach is very noticeable. Enough of an attention getter to remind you of what you are doing — holding your breath in. Reminding you that your mind drifted off and you lost your focus. Meditation is an almost identical experience – just without the active element of holding your tummy in.

Stories of the mind.

Let us teach you how to let go the stories of the mind. Repeat the previous exercise.

This time when you notice you have let go of your stomach – become aware of what it was that made you forget to hold on – something distracted you – thoughts. What were those thoughts about – perhaps about a chore you have to do later, about what you plan to cook, thinking about someone who was rude to you.  Were you thinking about something in the past or the future ? These are the stories of the mind.

Learning how to let go of the stories of the mind is a key skill in meditation and one that practise makes perfect.

This is not about emptying yourself of all thought. Its about focusing on thoughts about the immediate present moment.

During meditation you can focus on the experience of the emotions that are currently active – perhaps anger. Here is the thing though – you do not focus on why you are angry, what you plan to do about it, whose fault it is ….. Those are stories of the mind. Let them go. Simply experience the emotion. In the case of anger – where do you feel it – in your stomach, in your shoulders, scrunched up face – this is being present in the moment.

The more you practise the easier it is to let go.

Therapy or Meditation.

It seems that when you process emotions during meditation is has the same therapeutic effect as going to a therapist and talking about them and trying to work out the story, the why, the what.

Meditation can take the sting out of difficult emotions without the need to experience the pain and challenges that talk therapy often presents.